Bad Habit
by LittleMuse2019
Summary: Clary has a bad habit her mother wants to keep her from. A bad habit Clary would say is not so bad, especially when it feels so right.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello I'm going under the alias of Little Muse. Why? I'm not exactly sure, I just like the name. I have been a part of the fanfiction community for years now. I have read so many stories that have made me laugh, cry, feel irrationally angry, or overly emotional. This however is the first time that I have chosen to actually write my own story. It's a story I've had in my head for a while but have been too scared to publish. If you're wondering why I chose to publish it now, or are not, it's because I have chosen that this year I will do things that scare me. What I mean by that is scare me in a good way or more like challenge me. Writing is something that I would consider myself to be somewhat good at and really enjoy. I'm honestly also doing this because I want your feedback on my story. I want to know how I make you guys feel through the character's perspective and if I can capture the emotions that I feel when I get emotionally invested into a story. I hope that you guys stick with me** **through the end and I look forward to reading your reviews. The good and bad. Now without further a due, I present to you... Bad Habit.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.**

 **Description: Clary has a bad habit her mother wants to keep her from. A bad habit Clary would say is not so bad, especially when it feels so right.**

*buzz buzz buzz

She loved the feeling of being on the edge. The anticipation, the build up, and the aftermath.

*buzz buzz buzz

It wasn't like having the real thing but sometimes you just have to do it yourself. In the end only you know what you like best.

*buzz buzz buzz

"Hmmmm... fuck."

She liked doing it while watching it on screen. Don't get her wrong she could also get herself off from her imagination. But there's something about cumming at the precise moment as the people on the screen do that makes it feel more satisfying.

*buzz buzz buzz

"Ugh... yesss."

She was close and so were they. She liked watching it go in and out while she heard their cries of pleasure.

*buzz buzz buzz

"Fuck... I'm gonna come." She whispered to nobody while she worked the vibrator in and out of herself. She sped up her movements until she was finally over the edge and let herself feel consumed by her orgasm.

She lay there for a minute. Breathing in and out, trying to catch her own breath. After the numbness went away and she could breath normally again she felt the same thing she had been feeling for a while, unsatisfied. She wanted more. She always craved for more. Once was never enough.

Maybe that's why her mom was making her go see the counselor. Maybe she did need help. But what was so wrong about craving sex? What was so wrong about wanting to be in a sexual relationship? It wasn't like she thought about it 24/7. She could feel satisfied if she got what her body craved for. Her mother acted like the only thing in her mind was sex. It really wasn't. She tried to explain it to her mother but she never understood.

See no one ever questions a teenage boys sexual drive. They are allowed to feel overly horny because that's normal. But what about girls? We don't even think about that until we fall in love. Or we're not that horny. That's bullshit. If we had dicks we would have noticeable boners too. For my mom I'm some cheap whore with daddy issues. But really I'm just a regular 17 year old girl who wants a boyfriend to take care of me both emotionally and sexually.

But I've been denied that until my psychiatrist/doctor/therapist etc. determines if I'm a sex addict. I have been prohibited to even talk to the opposite sex let alone look at them.

I might as well sleep now that I know I won't feel satisfied for a while. After hiding my "inappropriate" stash and cleaning up I get back to bed rehearing my mother's words from earlier this week.

"Clary we could both use a fresh start so please stop being so dramatic about it. Remember what we agreed on!"

The agreement. She would pay for my college tuition wherever I chose to go and in whatever I chose to study as long as I stopped spreading my legs. Her words not mine... or maybe that last part was a little bit mine but it was emphasized that I shouldn't be having sex before marriage so you get the point. See my mother is a woman of God, a member of the church, the holiest of holy. Or so she thinks. The first time she caught me in a explicit act lets just say I had to call 911 because she stopped breathing.

Maybe a fresh start was what I needed because I don't exactly have the best reputation right now after what... never mind I don't want to think about it let alone remember. Tomorrow new day, new life, and a fresh start. Maybe this fortune teller/nutritionist/coach can help me answer the question I have been asking myself for a long time... Why is it so bad that I'm horny?

 **So what did you guys think? Did you like it? Did you hate it? Were you confused at first? Or did you catch on to what was happening? As for right now I don't have a posting schedule yet, but when I do sort that out I will let you guys know so that I don't leave you guys hanging. Also I do have a somewhat clear vision of where I want to take this story and might have a possible ending already. But who knows? I might change my mind. I do predict that it will be a long story and the chapters somewhat long so please bear with me on that. Also let me know what you guys though of the first chapter! Until next time!**


	2. Chapter 2

**You know I've read so many updates on fanfiction stories where the writers say something like sorry for the late update, or life is so hectic right now so I won't be able to upload as often, or I don't know when I'm going to be updating. I actually had plans to update last week but shit life happened lol Seriously I understand what they mean by that now and to think I'm only on my second chapter...**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.**

She couldn't believe what had just come out of her mothers mouth and judging by the look on her face, she didn't seem to think it was a big deal.

"Wait mom you're telling me that my therapist is a damn priest?!"

"Clary listen Reverend Ezekiel will know what's best in how to guide you in a both a mental and spiritual way towards the right path." Her mother said and proceeded to continue to eat her dinner as if she hadn't just dropped a bomb shell on Clary.

"Mom he's a priest! We're talking about a man who has been sexually deprived for years!" At this point she had gotten up from from her seat and began pacing around the room trying to figure out why her mother would even think this was a good idea in the first place.

"Clary don't start with me!" Her mother had finally stopped eating and turned to look at her with an impassive look on her face.

"How can I not? For all I know he's going to beat one out as soon as he hears that I like to be choked while they pound me into oblivion." She couldn't help but feel slightly uneasy about the whole situation.

"CLARISSA THATS ENOUGH!" Her mother yelled as she rose from her chair. Her cheeks were flushed and her forehead began to crease. A clear indication that she was beginning to get very upset. "Remember what we agreed on." Her mother once again reminded her.

"Mom I know but I thought that I was going to talk to a PROFESSIONAL." She couldn't help but retort. "You know someone who has actually studied or has some background knowledge on what you like to refer to as a 'disease.' I don't feel comfortable confessing my 'sins' to an older man of God. I'm sorry if I feel very uncomfortable about this whole thing!" She exclaimed as she sat back down on her chair feeling slightly overwhelmed by this whole conversation.

Her mother stared at her for a while before she sat back into her own seat. She wasn't sure what she was thinking and that frustrated her. Clary had always been an open book. I guess you could blame that on her bluntness. But her mother on the other hand had the poker face of a professional gambler. She had a way of being able to block from her face what she was thinking. Giving no indication of what her decision might be and that would frustrate Clary beyond belief. "Fine I will make an appointment with a Professional." Her mother finally agreed. "But you will be talking to someone about this Clary it's not right what you're doing. A young girl like you shouldn't be thinking about such inappropriate things. Especially when you haven't lived your life and are not in a courtship with anyone."

"Courtship? What the fuck mom? Seriously you've been watching that show way too much again." She couldn't help but blurt out with a sour look on her face.

"Clary..." Her mother began to exasperate as a warning.

"Seriously mom I get it, I have to close my legs and cover my eyes against the opposite sex until the Lord provides me with a decent companion. If I'm lucky he might actually like anal." Truthfully she didn't know how much she could actually stay away from the opposite sex. Not because of sex. Ok maybe not mainly because of sex but mostly because she actually rather hang out with guys rather than girls. Let's just say that she's had experience with many bitches in her past. I swear girls can be cruel when they want to be.

"CLARISSA!" She hadn't even realized her mother had been calling her name while she was having an internal conversation.

"Seriously mom how you managed to give birth to me is beyond me..." She's wondered this more than once since her mother seemed so against sex. She would have actually believed she was adopted had she not been an exact replica of her mother.

"Get out of my sight before I do something I might not regret." She warned before she continued to eat her dinner.

With a roll of her eyes Clary got up from her seat and walked away. It wasn't like she held it against her mother for what she believed she was doing right. I mean in a way she understood why her mother would react to her teenage daughter the way that she was. She just hates that in the end it came down to religion. She wasn't a non believer but she also wasn't obsessed either. She just trusted that her own faith was enough without trying to get influenced by those who deemed themselves holy.

She hated how her mother acted like something was wrong with her for having what she liked to call a healthy sexual appetite. She knew how to be safe and would speak up if she didn't like anything. There's nothing wrong with seeking release every now and then preferably with a companion.

Maybe now that she thought about it being set up to meet with the reverend isn't so bad. It's actually kind of hot. She can already picture herself walking in. Seeing the older man who happens to be in his late 20s but is devilishly handsome. He takes in her outfit and she'll feel a thrill knowing that he's watching her. He'll ask questions and she'll answer as sensually as possible and in the end they'll end up having sex like in many porno films that she's watched.

Fuck she can feel herself starting to get wet. As soon as she walked into her room she made sure to lock her door and and get her things ready. Once she was on her bed she began to search for a video online with a specific category. After choosing the right video about a priest and a girl doing it inside of a confessional, she picked up her vibrator and hit play.

She pictures it was her who was confessing her sins while the priest was masturbating. She watched as the girl on screen started touching herself just like the priest.

"Shit..." She started to increase her pace a bit with the vibrator in her hand. She made sure to stimulate her clit from the short end of the vibrator while she pumped it in and out of herself. There's was something thrilling about watching them touch themselves while they wished they could pleasure each other. She knew how they felt. She had been dick deprived for weeks now.

"Fuck...ugh" She couldn't help but moan. She was close. She could feel it coming and this time she didn't wait for the people on screen in order to cum she just let go. She convulsed for a bit and continued to let the video play until they both came. She felt contempt for now. Maybe she should tell her mom that she wouldn't mind seeing Reverend Ezekiel in the hopes that her little fantasy could become a reality.

Fuck never mind. Why would she even think that after insinuating that the priest could be a pervert. Maybe there was something wrong with her. She shut down her laptop, cleaned herself off, and decided to take a nap. She couldn't sleep though and if she were honest with herself she felt a bit guilty about what she just did. She was thinking of seducing a man she had never met and played a porn video about the scenario just to get herself off. Once again she asked herself if maybe her mother was right and the amount of sex that she wanted to have wasn't healthy? But then again what would be considered normal?

 **I hope you guys enjoyed that. Let me know what you think so far!**


End file.
